User talk:ChaosType6
Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback. MrDupin (talk) 14:01, June 27, 2018 (UTC) Story Review I'm afraid your story was deleted. I believe though that you have potential, so I will give you some feedback on how you can improve as a writer, so that your future stories can stay on the website. Transitions are of great importance in writing. From scene to scene and from section to section your transitions need to be seemless. Here, you rushed out of the introduction: "He would pray for an answer later, he thought. Out of the corner of his eye he thought he saw a spider-like humanoid silhouette in the fog." The 'out of the corner' part is where the "meat" of your story begins. Here, the transitions is too abrupt. You should have taken your time with it. You are talking about the situation the Missionary has found himself in and then you jumped straight to him seeing weird stuff. Add something in between, maybe remind the reader where the Missionary is. For example, you could write a bit about how the trees loom over him, describing his environment. Which brings me to another issue with your story: Structure. In your first paragraph you describe the situation/environment, but then between this description and the action you have exposition (eg. talking about the Missionary's wage). In general, exposition should be given sparingly and at the right time, so as to avoid interrupting the flow of the story. Here, for example, you can cut down the exposition out entirely, since it doesn't give the reader any information they need. If you had kept the Missionary's past a secret, it would have been a better story that would have flowed more smoothly. Another part that is not working is the monster. The monster doesn't really fit into the story. You write about it in the beginning and then again at the end. It does not feature in the story much and feels out-of-place. I believe in your story what would work best if somehow the Missionary got "corrupted" by something, or went mad. It's difficult to pull off, but it would have worked better than a monster that was shoehorned in. Also, there were some typos in your text, from capitalization to missing letters. If you read your story a couple more times, you will be able to comb through those mistakes. For the above reasons the story was deleted. You have potential though, so I highly suggest you keep practising, reading and writing. Eventually you will start improving. I suggest you check out some of the stories from here. You can also read some very good stories on my profile, under "Favourite Stories". Reading stories from there will help you better understand what we are looking for in stories. Wish you all the best with your future writing! MrDupin (talk) 14:02, June 27, 2018 (UTC) Categories Hiya ChaosType6, I'm not an admin, but just thought I should let you know that you shouldn't add categories to pages which have been Marked for Review. This category (along with Delete Now) is used to mark stories which may need improvement/deletion, and as such we like to keep them separate from the rest of the site's content. It might be an idea to take a look through the genre listing, which explains the rules surrounding categories. Thanks! Underscorre talk - - 21:39, August 19, 2018 (UTC) : Reply: I'll keep that in mind, thanks for letting me know! : ChaosType6 (talk) 02:55, August 23, 2018 (UTC)